Half Way Down

This morning something traumatic, actually mostly embarrassing happened. As I was walking towards the train station I was wondering whether I was going to get on the 08:12 train or not. I wasn’t running late or anything so I wasn’t fussed at all. But when I got to the platform, it was 08:13 and the train was still there, doors still open with people still getting on.

It was at that crucial moment when I was thinking: “Do I get in or not? Do I have enough time? Will I get to work faster if I do? Should I buy a bacon baguette for 99p? etc.” I obviously thought way too slow, because by the time I rushed to the train and got (half way in), I was half way out. In a matter of seconds, I felt the doors hit my shoulders and there I was, with half of me under the train, only my upper body in the train supported by my arms and my bag. I was lucky that the doors reopened as it hit my shoulders and that the carriage I was in wasn’t full, because if not, I wouldn’t be here right now to write about it. As I fell, I just screamed and I could feel the pain from the obvious bruises in my legs. Oh and the embarrassment! I was wearing thick black tights today so at least it hid the evidence of my “accident” very well. Although for the first hour after I wasn’t walking straight. I was dreading coming home after work, when I eventually had to take my tights off and face reality. Oh well, I guess facing reality is inevitable at the end of the day, no matter how hard I try to live in La La Land. 

Anyways, going back to my story, After complete strangers lifted me up and managed to get my whole body in the train, the doors closed behind me so I had no choice but to stay on for the next 8 minutes. And my god, those were the longest 8 minutes ever! The people that helped me get up were suddenly giving the weird look; not to mention everyone else around me and most importantly, the look I was giving myself. Humiliation and embarrassment filled my heart, and face, which got warmer by the second as I felt it turning red.

If it’s one thing I’m grateful for today, it is for the Metro newspaper that I used to cover my face all the way to work whilst my knees were still shaking.

I got to Elephant and Castle at 08:20 only to wait 18 minutes for the bus, so it’s pretty obvious that my efforts of getting on an earlier train clearly weren’t worth it. I guess sometimes you just don’t know.

As I sit here and look back at this morning, I wonder what it would be like if I had fallen all the way under the train and my journey as Karlina in this life had ended then and there, on a mild winter morning under the train.

I truly believe there are things worth risking your life for; but for getting to work early?

Probably not.